Ethical Argument Reflection

The main difference I can see between the first and second draft of my ethical argument is the fact that I clearly stated my thesis on the ethical issue of obesity in the second revisal. I claim that it’s immoral to be so grotesquely overweight or obese and I feel that the government is not holding people responsible at the level that they ought to be. I tried to make it much clearer to the reader through my views of the moral problems with being so grossly overweight, and that we need to change this issue now in a drastic way.

In the first draft it seems as though I was using more facts and statistics than actual persuasion from my own beliefs. I feel as though I strengthened my argument and proposal by discussing a personal incident I had recently at Wal-mart. This allowed the reader to understand my view of the subject through descriptive imagery of why mandated behavioral therapy is a must to end the obesity epidemic in America. I clearly stated that it’s about the everyday choices we make rather than the actual overeating problem itself. It’s up to every person to manipulate their own life and make the right choices. The government can only do so much to control this, but it’s their responsibility too now to enforce stricter guidelines on eating healthier, exercising regularly and maintaining a normal weight. This proposal I came up with is a good idea in my opinion and could cost some serious money for the government. But in the end, it could save lives.

And finally, I structured the body of the essay better by using the advice my wise instructor gave me by showing specific “negative” consequences and what people can do to improve these immoral “learned habits.” I revised most of the first draft, but mainly left the conclusion alone because it seemed to follow the guidelines I needed to adhere to. I really felt like this last essay was easier to put together into its final draft than the other two we previously wrote. Maybe it’s because I’m very passionate about my health and other people’s too, or maybe I just don’t want to see any more obese children walking around. It breaks my heart to know that parents are choosing to let their kids eat that much.